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@zebrasyndicate: *I come home with an empty stroller* WIFE: OMG, where's the baby? ME: ...so there was a Dad Joke Battle WIFE: ME: I CAN WIN THE BABY BACK
@KentWGraham: All it takes is a “food dreadful, service poor” Yelp review to get your mother-in-law to stop inviting you to Sunday dinner.
@donsengstack: Jurassic Park 7: Nothing goes wrong and everyone just genuinely enjoys the company of the dinosaurs