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@AntozWolf: True friendship is when you walk into someone's house, and your WiFi connects automatically..
@lloydrang: Never mistake my kindness for weakness. Never mistake my silence for approval. And never, ever, mistake my appetizer for a sharing platter.
@thedad: [INVENTION OF BABIES] GOD: Ok so, make them neediest during their first year, but don’t give them any comprehensible language skills until, like, way later lol ANGEL: *Noticeably distressed*
@PaperWash: [Oreo meeting] What about 'sextuple stuffed' "That's just inappropriate Jeff you're fired" [later googling Sextuple] "Omg that's genius"