@DamienFahey: 13 Types of Regret You'll Experience After Clicking on a Link to an Article That Won't Live Up to its Exaggerated Headline
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: Excited for the dance? 13yo: No, because you and mom will be there. Me: But I've been workin on my twerkin! 13yo: I need new parents.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: You can just keep that pen. Coworker: Sure? Me: Yeah. I noticed you don't wash your hands in the restroom. Cw.. Me: I told everyone.
@corysnearowski: My wife is upset we can't afford a vacation this year because I kept paying the kids to behave while I was driving