@DamienFahey: 13 Types of Regret You'll Experience After Clicking on a Link to an Article That Won't Live Up to its Exaggerated Headline
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@sixfootcandy: [family brunch] Sister: We'd love you to be our daughter's godmother. Me: No thank you. Please pass the syrup.
@nathandeschaine: Jurassic Park (1993): An old man with ungodly amounts of money doesn't have any common sense.
@SuperJuanderer: What idiot called them swordfish instead of... oh, no, wait, actually that's pretty good.