@KrunkedRobot: 15 out of 12 beers agree I can't do math when I'm drunk.
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@fro_vo: [rhyme factory] BOSS: get cracking on those words that rhyme with “ow” WORKER: yes sir bow cow dow how *boss looks away* low mow *boss looks back* now pow *boss looks away again* row sow tow *boss looks back* vow wow
@david8hughes: [police interrogation] "What do you do for a living?" "Drug dealer." "Louder, for the tape." [leans in] "Bug healer. I heal bugs."
@kimlockhartga: Had a little meltdown at work yesterday, so the upside is that everyone will be afraid to talk to me for awhile.