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@KrunkedRobot: 15 out of 12 beers agree I can't do math when I'm drunk.
@WICKEDTRUTH01: Strip search? Fine but I'm going to need some music.
@patnspankme: Best part of being married is blaming your partner for shrinking something in the dryer because you're getting fat & it doesn't fit anymore.
@Ristolable: 100% of car accidents happen within exactly five miles of something. If you're within five miles of anything right now, move.
@Dutch_50: I planted a whole garden full of bird seed this year and not one bird came up. I quit.
@DancesWithTamis: Let me get this straight. The guy was raised by animals in the jungle with no human contact whatsoever and he named himself George?