@WoodyLuvsCoffee: 16 yr old nephew bought me a Miley Cyrus CD. He said "Listen to it, it'll change your mind. It did change my mind. I used to like my nephew.
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@Parkerlawyer: My daughter said I was too old for over-the-knee boots so I bought two pair and told her she was too young to borrow them.
@WillGlenwright: Me: Bed time Hotel room: Good luck turning the lights off Me: Easy. This one Hotel: No. Bed light Me: This one? Hotel: Desk light Me: This one? Hotel: LOL You just turned on the curtain lights Me: WTF? And that light in the wardrobe? Hotel: 2400lux stadium lighting Alarm: wake up
@iinkedZombie: Me: You have to be nice or Santa won't deliver any toys this year. 5: Me: 5: My brother lets me play with his.
@flashember: In the name of "Hell Kitty", an army of children wages a bloody and unholy war. "It was just a typo," sobs Glenn, ex-Tshirt factory worker.