@WoodyLuvsCoffee: 16 yr old nephew bought me a Miley Cyrus CD. He said "Listen to it, it'll change your mind. It did change my mind. I used to like my nephew.
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@PharmerRPh: Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
@david8hughes: [wakes up & turns to wife] "I had a nightmare. You died." "Aw. It was just a-" "Let me finish. You died & I had to make my breakfast."
@str8outaCompUSA: Jesus, don't take the wheel. Give me your keys. Sober up. *hands cup of water* DON'T TURN THAT INTO WINE AGAIN