@slimmy_shady: 20% of traffic accidents involve deer.Who allowed deer to drive in the first place?
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@IGotsSmarts: If Minnie Driver married Bradley Cooper her name would be oh god I can't even finish this one
@rockymomax: [freezing huddled around fire] Dont worry I brought blankets to keep us warm *throws blankets on fire* that should last a good half hour
@internetluke: [at dinner party] Me: Excuse me, a bit of an announcement.. Jenny and I are expecting a kid. She is 4 months pregnant. Vegan: I'm vegan