@drewtoothpaste: 2019: Tumblr blinks offline, satisfied, having completed its mission of collecting all existing TV and film footage as GIF files.
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@themiltron: [God creating beards] ADAM: God, I don’t like my face. GOD: Tell ya what, buddy: I’ll cover it in pubes. ADAM: What? That’s not— GOD: Done.
@SondraDeeMe: You can tell a lot about my BF by the way he's giving me the silent treatment. He's doing it wrong. I'm doing it right but can't tell him.
@FilthyRichmond: Walmart keeps two elderly people on staff at all times: one to greet you, and one to walk slowly in front of you on the way out.