@drewtoothpaste: 2019: Tumblr blinks offline, satisfied, having completed its mission of collecting all existing TV and film footage as GIF files.
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@sonictyrant: [Inn fight] Drunk guy: you call those sunflowers?!? ‘Tis a pitiful rendering Van Gogh: *turns to innkeeper* hold my ear
@FuckabillyRex: I thought she said "tantrum sex" and this is probably the most I've ever disappointed a woman.
@OkieGirl405: My boyfriend is taking me to a Spanish restaurant for dinner, I'm kind of scared, I don't speak Spanish, how will I know not to order dog
@KeetPotato: prisoner: "i broke a guy's face in 18 places, what you in for?" [flashback to me stealing a duck from the pond] me: "9/11"