[2054: We develop cheap cloning technology] [2055: Restaurant opens where you can have clones of yourself serve cooked clones of yourself]

@ipalatsky: - You got so drunk last night, you were dancing on the table in your underwear!! - Me? In my underwear? You must have left early.

1

@bbseaside: I saw something yesterday that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it.

54

@ChaseMit: My girlfriend's car got stolen today, so if you see a man driving a dark green Honda Civic, PLEASE tell him I left some Skittles in there.

39

@ndiquote: [hits rock bottom] rock bottom : *calls 911 for being assaulted*

1

@dadofbieber: Daughter 1: Dad, I'm lesbian. Daughter 2: Me too dad. Dad: Doesn't anyone like guys here? Son: I do?.

8

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