@DanLaMorte: 21st century kid on Santa's lap-"Yo santa, some more insta followers would be real dope for Christmas. Thanks bruh bruh"
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@WilliamRodgers: "And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon....Little boy blue and the man on the moon" ...Drugs in the 70's must've been AWESOME!
@kyry5: One time a guy left a full glass of sangria behind on a first date and I pretended I forgot my sunglasses so I could run back and chug it.
@jwoodham: FACEBOOK: Hey, remember me? I'm a girl you met in college, in that one class. We never really talked. Anyway, here's 97 pictures of my baby.
@CJhooray: I just saw a list of candidates for the local Juvenile Judge election and I just don't think juveniles should even be able to be judges idk