@aneesa_p: <--- 30 year old female who STILL snickers when the elevator door opens & the electronic voice says "going down". Never gets old.
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@SirEviscerate: ME: *sits* BARBER: You're completely bald. ME: Just snip the scissors around my ears and gently touch my head for 10 mins, please.
@KKAlThani: LISTEN LADY IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME SITTING ON YOUR BABY YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED ASKING FOR A BABYSITTER
@Glynner85: The best part about having a muppet for a best friend is that when you're done singing songs, BOOM free oven mitt.
@tomgara: My friend's toddler babbled "don't forget to subscribe" as he was put to bed. Kid watches so much YouTube he thought it means "goodbye"