@robdelaney: 4 out of 5 dentists agree: kill a lion.
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@StayNobody: What can I get you to drink? "Pepsi" Is Peps- Uh one moment please [In kitchen, to manager] I don't know, he just said Pepsi. What do I do?
@gruffybeard: 911: What's your emergency? Me: I'm scared. I *gasp* can't *gasp* breathe *gasp* again! 911: Sir, for the last time, unbutton your pants.
@SortaSarcastic: Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back.