@thejoelstein: 4-yr-old son gave smartest answer ever to "How do you know if something is art?" "People tell you."
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@amishschool: If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up.
@AristotlesNZ: Wife: How's the baby? Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours? Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..
@TheBoydP: They say don’t eat when you’re bored but I never get bored of eating so I think I’m good.