@AmishPornStar1: 4th of July Pro Tip: If you're looking for quality, never buy fireworks from a guy with more than seven fingers.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Tried to spoon my wife & she throat punched me She said "Sorry I was dreaming of my judo class" But she doesn't take judo Plus she was awake
@prufrockluvsong: I would do anything for love. But I won't do that. Or that. That's not looking good either.
@MomOfTeen: That was THE best 10 hours of sleep I've ever had. Thanks for asking me to sleep with you! Huh. You look upset.