@thetigersez: Dating in your 30s is just two people telling each other stories about how they used to be fun.
@LizHackett: Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas.
@OfficialMizGin: Annoying guy trying to hit on me: This is like a scene from a romantic movie.
Me: Yeah, I’m the iceberg and you’re the Titanic.
#Queen
@trevso_electric: Try to eat 70,000 small meals a day to keep your metabolism on its toes.
@TheSharona06: At the grocery store, buying 6 of the same item
Cashier: Are these good?
Me: No. I'm buying all of them just to save others from suffering
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