@obviousplant_: 5 ways to appear taller
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@jimmytorosian: Me: "I have octopus like reflexes." Person: "Don't you mean cat like reflexes?" Me: *squirting him with ink* "Nope."
@The_MartiniGirl: Pretty sure I just did some classical ballet move as I got off the computer chair to get to the kitchen and saw a spider on my floor.
@toastymoe: Bad news: I got so busy drafting tweets, I forgot to pick the kids up at school. Worse news: I'm a bus driver