@obviousplant_: 5 ways to appear taller
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@flashember: ME: Where are the posters? WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! [In other room] *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*
@CoolFreak_Amy: Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
@BobTheSuit: My Alexa overheard my Roombas talking and, long story short, I now have 114 Roombas in my living room circling their god, Alexa.