@bourgeoisalien: 5 years ago when 'House of Cards' started we said, 'That's so scary.' Now Trump is here and we're like, 'hahaha, House of Cards is adorable'
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@LuckoftheDraw86: Don't over-share. Don't over-share. Don't over-share. Don't over-share. Don't over-share. HI I'M A NERVOUS POOPER. ... Nailed it!
@TheTweetOfGod: I planted all the evidence for evolution once it became clear it did not serve the best interest of My reputation to take credit for you.
@fakedansavage: Donald Trump has Muslim friends, Rick Santorum has gay friends, Ted Cruz has imaginary friends. #GOPDebate