@jdforshort: 6 made coffee for me this morning, I'm now thinking that she can never move out of the house
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@EliHansenMusic: I'm at my most immature when girls misspell "cologne" and start talking about how bad a man's colon smells
@living_marble: "Arise! Arise! Foul creatures, I command that you arise! ARISE!" "Dad, just once, couldn't you let mom or the alarm clock wake us?" "ARISE!"
@trojansauce: GIRL: would you like to go out for dinner sometime? ME:*nervously looks around* MY MUM: *appearing from nearby bush* he only eats lunchables
@_troyjohnson: Historic moments in rap. Jay W [username taken] Jay X [username taken] Jay Y [username taken] Jay Z