@JustLikeMikee: 70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots
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@TheMichaelRock: I just had a coughing fit and think I accidently created a Nicki Minaj song featuring Ke$ha. Sorry, you guys.
@MamaFizzles: 11yo said he can't wait to grow up so he won't have to do chores anymore. I had forgotten how cathartic it is to laugh until you cry.
@Sanbel11: Every day I learn something new as a parent. Today I learned I can't sit through my daughter's violin recital without a desire to die.