@theshamingofjay: 75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it
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@Eye_Of_Madara: I told her love was all about sacrifice, but she still screamed when she saw the dead goat.
@truegritrumble: INTERVIEWER: Your greatest weakness? ME: I'm told my laugh is sinister. INTERVIEWER: Lol. That can't be true. ME: Mwahahaha. I know, right.
@theshamingofjay: A soft drink is just a drink that needs a minute. Just give it a minute, this has never happened to it before.