@Cpin42: 8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”
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@thetits: BRUTUS: hail Caesar *draws knife* CEASAR: not this time *hands Brutus an Uno "reverse" card* B: SHIT ROMAN SENATE:*stabs Brutus to death*
@Douchekevin: Girlfriend kept nagging me to take her home to meet my family, so I did. Her and my wife aren't getting along.
@Julian_Deane: My computer keeps trying to turn me. asked if Im a robot again. No mate still not a robot.
@bigdumbbrad: I only put one eye on my snowman. That way, if it ever comes to life, the lack of depth perception will give me a tactical advantage.