@_thatigirl: 83 yo man, "You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl". Me: "I'm caucasian". Him, "Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me".
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@caliluvgirl77: "I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone" -girls who can't figure out boyfriend's passwords
@MelvinofYork: Me: Liar, liar, pants on fire! Nose as long as a telephone wire! Daughter: A telephone WHAT? Me: Wire. Daughter: That doesn’t make sense.
@KKAlThani: Drink coffee. It saves lives. One cup will decrease your chances of murdering someone in the morning.
@Alex_LaVallee: HUGE shout out to Will Smith! With out him we never would have survived the alien attack in '96. Happy Independence Day!