@Fred_Delicious: 9 out of 10 dentists agree that Gary is the most handsome dentist. Gary voted for Brett because he couldn't vote for himself
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@david8hughes: [dentist giving me a filling] Me: guh uh hag a hogreg? Dentist stops: what? Me: do you have a boyfriend?
@CornOnTheGoblin: [travels back in time to warn 12 year old me about playing video games too much] you become fat and lazy and-whoa Mortal Kombat 2 scoot over
@OctopusCavemann: I’ll bet Waldo owed some people money. You don’t get that good at hiding for no reason.
@OkigboHTX: Before you and ya girl get married, ask her if she would leave you for Michael B. Jordan. If she says "no", drop her cause ain't no point in building a marriage based on lies