@Fred_Delicious: 9 out of 10 dentists agree that Gary is the most handsome dentist. Gary voted for Brett because he couldn't vote for himself
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@Super_Cynthia: 911: What's your emergency? [sounds of struggling and growling] 911: Hello?! Me: I OFFERED THIS RACCOON MY SANDWICH BUT I CHANGED MY MIND
@Tmoney68: I'll never understand women. A species that loathes you for asking their age, but tortures you forever if you forget their birthday.
@schumoo: Like Grandma used to say, if it seems too good to be true buy as much of that shit as you can. Grandma drank a lot. We miss her.