@Mr_Kapowski: 90% of women that wear yoga pants probably don't do yoga. 100% of straight men don't care.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PaperWash: vampire waiter: would you like to order? customer: I'll have a steak vampire waiter: [sweating nervously] what...wuddya need a stake for?
@Playing_Dad: Welcome to passive aggressive club. We're so happy you came twenty minutes late. Sure, get a cup of coffee, we'll wait.
@StarWarsProblms: Padmé: Dating is scaring. I just want to find a nice guy who’s not going to murder me. Anakin: You’ve chosen wisely.
@Ryanfc706: I hate when I smile at a stranger and they don't smile back... I'm using my face muscles for you, you little shit.