@vikkaroni: 99 times out of ten, I'm making shit up.
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@TheWriteStuff2u: You said that if I went to visit at the hospital I should be sure to take flowers. So, when the nurse wasn't looking, I did.
@Tmoney68: Isaac Newton was the pride of the family until his great great grandson Fig was born.
@AndyRichter: Back in my day when we found a Pokémon we had to beat it to death with a rotary phone
@dru0887: If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it's because they've just killed someone right?