@vikkaroni: 99 times out of ten, I'm making shit up.
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@NicCageMatch: Just saw a girl wearing a "BAD GAL" t-shirt so I yelled "NO!" & smacked her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Leonard Nimoy died today. Co-worker: From Star Wars? *goes home* Wife: How was your day? Me: Leonard Nimoy and a co-worker died today.
@SCbchbum: If you want to know how many hours your mom was in labor with you, tell her you won't be able to come over & visit.