@lotterydude: A baby is 75% water. So if I walked on babies I'd be 75% Jesus. #SolidLogic
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mrtruthandsoul: Hey guys with your phone in a hip holster, is it because your purse is too full with tampons?
@EricDumbTweets: I don't trust people who say "I married my best friend" because I don't think dogs can truly consent to marriage.
@nealbrennan: Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
@Bandersnaaatch: Mommy, I wrote some notes down in my diarrhea. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary.