@DanielRCarrillo: A barbed-wire tattoo on my arm keeps my arm horses from running away
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@ValeeGrrl: Hi, childless people. I just meticulously peeled the skin off a pickle. Cuz the pickle was "bumpy." Enjoy your day. Not de-bumping pickles.
@TheCamelToe_: I don't care about all the nasty stuff people put on here about Nicki Minaj. I'll still suck her c**k anytime.
@RocketRankoon: Comcast: "Would you like to upgrade your Internet service to include cable?" Me: "No thanks, the illegal downloading has that base covered."