@Tmoney68: A big storm is coming & everyone's buying bread, milk, and eggs. Apparently you battle bad weather with French Toast.
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@ddsmidt: I'm not saying motorcycles are dangerous, but the motorcycle section on Craigslist also has a lot of electric wheelchairs for sale.
@theevilwriter: I stopped writing poetry when I realized their only value was to threaten to read them to people if they didn't do what I wanted.
@SSparklesDaily: Cats won't give away your position when someone knocks on the door. They hide with you, like understanding furry ninjas.
@EmilyZDavis: I can't believe this dog and a whole family just died because of a forgotten comma