@jonnysun: a bird doesnt sing becuase it has an answer. it sings becuase birds are jerks who like to hear the sound of their own voice
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@yerpalmildsauce: I may not be the coolest guy in town but I am the coolest guy in my apar-- *cockroach wearing tiny leather jacket scuttles by*
@LeaMehanna: I think my microwave's broken. I keep pressing the pizza button and no pizza is coming out
@Cheeseboy22: Thinking of leaving a fake bloody arm inside the blood pressure machine at this CVS pharmacy.