@jonnysun: a bird doesnt sing becuase it has an answer. it sings becuase birds are jerks who like to hear the sound of their own voice
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@uMakeMeBad: At Walmart with a box of condoms and a Barbie play set, now I need to pick the right cashier to ensure maximum awkwardness for us both.
@samalmightysam: Breaking: CNN confirms planes need fuel to fly. In other news, scientist confirm brains are not needed to work at CNN.
@The_JRM: There's a woman here who, by the amount of makeup on her face, fought with a rainbow - and lost.