@markleggett: A bird in the hand is worth nothing and is probably giving you duck AIDS. Put it back.
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@itshotterhere: Never trust someone who says you're more important than cheese. It's an obvious lie.
@comer310: Orange: Knock knock Apple: Who's there? O: Orange A: Orange who? O: Orange you glad I didn't say Banana? A: Yes! That guy is the WORST!
@AimeeHelene1: If this paper cut is any indication of my pain threshold, then child birth would definitely kill me.
@rickkondell: It's nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he's getting hit by a train.