@GirrlGenius: A book commits suicide every time you watch a reality show.
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@envydatropic: I'm not saying he ate the candy canes off the bottom of the Christmas tree I'm just saying my dog's breath was minty fresh this morning.
@Papa_Mex: I'm an 'adult', so why do I dance a little and look around nervously when I find a $20 bill in my jeans I didn't know was there...
@MarfSalvador: [Watching the sunset over Paris] BF: My darling *goes down on one knee* GF: OH MY GOD!! BF: THIS is how I proposed to my last girlfriend