@Sassafrantz: A bride just said "today I'm marrying my best friend" it's like hey great choice, because marrying your mortal enemy seems risky & dangerous
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@MrsTomServo: *scampers over to ice cream truck* Yes, I'll take the SpongeBob who looks like he just opened the Ark of the Covenant, please.
@SortaSarcastic: Someone invented a yoga mat that rolls itself. If that person reads this tweet, I have a fitted sheet I'd like for you to look at.
@QwertyJones3: [group therapy] "I always feel unnoticed" NINJA: I hear ya CHAMELEON: Same GUY WITH CAMOUFLAGE PANTS: It's like we're all soulmates
@TheBoydP: You have to love a boss with a sense of humor. Mine just sent me a 7am meeting notice on Outlook and I've never laughed so hard...