@Sassafrantz: A bride just said "today I'm marrying my best friend" it's like hey great choice, because marrying your mortal enemy seems risky & dangerous
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@LeviathanPride: Why did the US invade Iraq when Steven Seagal's ponytail contains 85% of the worlds natural resources?
@OfficeofSteve: The wife wants me to be a doctor in our sex role playing. So I guess I'll make her wait an hour, then send her to a specialist
@juneohara65: I have a time phobia. *looks at watch, panics *looks at clock, panics *looks at thyme "This I can handle."