@Sassafrantz: A bride just said "today I'm marrying my best friend" it's like hey great choice, because marrying your mortal enemy seems risky & dangerous
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@VoNwosu: When people complain that all Cristiano Ronaldo does is score goals, I don't understand. What do you want him to do? Fry yam?
@squirrel74wkgn: [at dinner] Me: *rubbing sugar on my gums* Wife: What are you doing? Me: I dunno...saw some cool guy doing it in the bathroom