@ohpeetie: A bug zapper, but for people trying to come into my office.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ThisOneSayz: [At the pearly gates] Me: what was it like, watching my life from up here? Saint Peter: the book was so much better.
@Smooheed: Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying 'don't worry baby, I'll catch you if you fall' makes him run for a really really long time
@FrogAvalanche: [two atoms side-to-side on a DNA chain] "Hi." "Hi. U look familiar. Were u on A3564β before it went supernova?" "Yes." "U still owe me $20."