@ohpeetie: A bug zapper, but for people trying to come into my office.
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@shesananteater: Boss: Where'd you go?? Me: I got all the way up front and realized I forgot my pen. Boss: Okay? Me: So I went to lunch.
@1_swarthy_dude: Her:[watching sunset]"Best date ever! Nothing can ruin this mo.." *crunching sounds* Me:[eating live Monarch butterflies out of a ziplock]
@Aspersioncast: We should call them Whether Men, because they don't know whether or not it's going to rain, get it? That's a good one.