@ohpeetie: A bug zapper, but for people trying to come into my office.
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@clindsaysway: Meant to say, "Let me check my calendar and get back to you." What came out: "I'm available anytime"
@DanMentos: [job interview] “any public speaking experience?” not since the valedictorian speech in high school “very impressive” I yelled 'YOU SUCK'
@matt___nelson: [at restaurant trying not to let anyone know I'm a koala] Waiter: "what can I get u?" "do u have any eucalyptus?" *restaurant goes quiet*