@AnOrangeSNES: A cannibal passes a Girl Scout cookie stand. "How many girl scouts are these cookies made of?" he asks with a large smile on his face.
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@tsm560: [in bed] Her: Easy, cowboy. I'm not having unprotected sex. Me: No worries! Her: Where are you going? Me: To lock the front door. Her: ...
@kelkulus: The Church of England rejected female bishops. How can women's rights expect to move forward if they're not even allowed to move diagonally?
@TopherKearby: Want to know what it's like to have kids? 1. Gather everything you own. 2. Throw it all on the floor. 3. Pick it up. 4. Repeat for infinity.
@Donna_McCoy: Cosmetic surgery is a great way to spend your life savings and end up looking like a surprised owl.