@AnOrangeSNES: A cannibal passes a Girl Scout cookie stand. "How many girl scouts are these cookies made of?" he asks with a large smile on his face.
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@MamaFizzles: My son says I only had kids so I could make them do chores. Like yes, I made a bunch of messy, whiny poop machines so they could cry while doing a crap job of cleaning that I just have to redo later.
@mrdaveturner: There's a woman reading the bible on the tube. Fighting the urge to lean over to her and say "He dies at the end".
@Aspersioncast: I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.