@TheRealRHB: I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream

@SaraESpivey: Ironically, the Boogeyman was a terrible dancer.

@JasonLastname: Somewhere there's a person named Current Resident who has to read every piece of junk mail.

@MadGamer79: When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

@RdrJay47: [someone is nice to me] *checks if wallet's still in my pocket*