@PeaceInTruth1: A car gets better traction in the snow if you throw a couple of coworkers in the trunk.
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@GianDoh: How can I relax when every aspect of my physical and mental state is governed by something called The Nervous System?
@13spencer: Have you guys seen that great television show, "Candy Crush Saga With The Sound From Another Television Show Playing In The Background?"
@clindsaysway: Overheard, my parents, watching the World Cup: Dad: Who are you routing for? Mom: I'm routing for it to be over.
@sock_holliday: [Doctor's Office] Doctor: The bad news is you have 3 months to live. Me: What's the good news? Doctor: You should make it til Shark Week