@JimGaffigan: A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
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@hipchkk: You know how moray eels can't let go when they bite, and both sets of jaws must be pried off even after they're dead? Don't touch my fries.
@kunalkamra88: I never understand why do people whisper at funeral's ? The most important guy at this party is dead he can't hear you.
@MaverickGames: Life would be simpler if you were notified when you were added to lists IRL. "Your crush" has added you to list "Friend Zone".
@rolldiggity: A Star Wars scene where drunk Luke and Han admit they have no idea what Chewie and R2 are saying, and then they both just start laughing