@Dutch_50: A co-worker is retiring, so they're passing a card around filled with cash. I only took $10 but normally my signature is worth much more.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SCbchbum: One of the most effective forms of birth control is assembling furniture together as a couple.
@MongooseMayhem: Let's play hide and sex. I mean seek. Damn it. Seek. Unless you're okay with hide and sex. I'll meet you in the hall closet in one minute.
@TheTweetOfGod: Nancy Grace just called pot smokers "fat and lazy". Right. Unlike the buff marathon runners home 4 o'clock on a Monday watching your show.
@sarcasticmommy4: Parent pro tip: Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money.