@ilovepie84: A Cobra wanted to fight me but I challenged him to a thumb war and he slitthered away embarrassed.
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@Fredzipfel: Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color
@kevinrowe1: At my age, a new driver's license doesn't have an Expires On date. It has a Renew If You Haven't Expired On date.
@DiGiornoPizza: Imagine a world without pizza. No, no, stop crying this was just pretend I'M SORRY TRY AND CONTROL YOURSELF I'M SORRY