@Kyle_Lippert: A college girl sends a text to her BF who doesn't respond "Could this night get any worse?" unaware that an alien fleet approaches earth
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@UnIxphysco: My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
@simoncholland: My wife didn't post an essay thanking our kids for making her a mom on Facebook and now child services is on the way.
@chelliet22: My daughter just informed me that 75% of you follow me because of how I look. I'm not sure if I'm flattered or insulted.