@daemonic3: A concept so foreign, Angelina Jolie tries to adopt it.
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@KimmyMonte: *judge bangs gavel* Ok let's reconvene after a quick 20 min recess *immediately knocks over defense attorney to get to the slide first*
@Sarcasticsapien: Spider-Man's a great addition to The Avengers, if they're looking for a superhero who is best at watching people they love die.
@TheTweetOfGod: 'Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the mall There were multiple reports of trampling injuries.
@Brianhopecomedy: Did a somersault for the first time in years. I know that's not a good tweet but I'm getting bored lying here waiting for the paramedics.