@NikiWithIssues: A cool fun way to stop his snoring so you can finally get some sleep is to separate the head from the body.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: [breaking up yet another fight] Me: Why do you always fight with your sisters? 6-year-old: Because I always win.
@YINGY_FLEMMMING: When they announce "all youths stay behind after church. Your Help is needed around the church premises" Me:
@Vodkantots: Grilled cheese is just regular cheese that's been forced to account for its whereabouts last night between 9:30 and 11.
@BestestNerdDad: When dating, I only have 3 dates to get a woman hooked on me because thats how many nice shirts i have.