@NikiWithIssues: A cool fun way to stop his snoring so you can finally get some sleep is to separate the head from the body.
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@scorpiusryan21: My friend and I have a pact that if we're not married by age 40, we're going to fist bump and take shots for making good decisions
@BigOlBossman: WAITER: soup or salad? CLARK KENT: *sweating nervously* just a REGULAR salad for a REGULAR guy please ha ha. nothing super about it...