@Book_Krazy: A cubical is a great place to reflect on all the bad decisions you've made in your life
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@ibid78: "You know why I pulled you over?" "Does anyone know why anyone's pulled over?" "Wow. You're free to go." "Is anyone free?" "Oh you're good."
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Any questions for me? ME: How do I access the WIFI? INTERVIEWER: I meant about the job ME: Is that all capital?
@Stella1070: I was so excited. Thought I found an M&M at the bottom of my purse. It was only an earbud. I ate it anyway.
@Brentweets: I went to handshake someone and he basically just gripped my thumb and I'm never going to be popular