@Cheeseboy22: A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
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@flashember: The microwave was invented in 1946 when an enraged toddler demanded his food be locked in a revolving prison and destroyed by lasers.
@xLiserx: I sexually identify as Nickelback because people are ashamed of how much they secretly enjoy me.
@eskimo_tekillya: I recently bought a corset to spice up my sex life. Once I've learned how to breathe in the damn thing I'll tell you how it worked out.
@Rockenden: To the first designer to make skirts so tight that a slit had to be added to the back: Good job. Flip flop guy: Go stand in the corner.