@LoriLuvsShoes: A CW told me for the 50th time that her baby learned how to walk so I told her"if you really wanna impress me lmk when it learns how to fly"
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@amethystxmatt: turns out skrillexs music has healing properties: during a concert, a paralysed boy stood up and left
@i_Lean: Just remember Mom, you can't spell "disappointment" without "appointment" which reminds me I have to be at Hooters at 9 for my interview.
@Gre_Gone: [Ad shows dude getting out of bed before noon on the weekend] *professional stuntman do not attempt*