@13spencer: A dashcam video of a cop lip-syncing and dancing to a Taylor Swift song went viral, which is just one more reason to hate the police.
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@ThisOneSayz: Me to Hitman: in the bedroom. He is big. Hitman*pulls gun & enters* where is he? Me: on the wall! Hitman: that's a spider Me: kill it!
@robolollycop: Teach a man to fish and he will evolve to become so skilled at it that he destroys the ocean and kills every last fish. Nice one education.
@shadygrenade: License and registration please. "Bears." Excuse me? "Beaaaaars." Are you drunk sir? "BEAAAARS!" Stop saying bea- *cop is mauled by bears*