@Aspersioncast: A dating site that connects Tupperware containers with lost lids.
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@ilovepie84: I play Nickelback real loud all day so crickets can listen to something annoying when they try to sleep
@DammitLarry1: When the ex asks to be friends... it's like your mum telling you that your dog is dead but you can keep it.
@Discourt: Having children teaches you patience, humility, love and to never, ever, be surprised when you find a Barbie doll leg clogging the toilet.