@meladoodle: A demon that writes messages on your mirror with blood but they're useful messages. Like "remember you have yoga at 6 tonight"
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@BGH70: I often wish that gravity was a more selective force regarding who it kept on this planet.
@HousewifeOfHell: Rumor has it, some people get things accomplished without whining about it. Not my style. Interesting concept, though.
@TheTweetOfGod: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Santa." "Santa who?" "Santa who has to use the door because you left your fireplace burning, jackass."
@Tommytoughstuff: [Jail] INMATE: I killed a guy. SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN: I got caught trying to haunt an old warehouse by a bunch of teenagers and a talking dog.