@meladoodle: A demon that writes messages on your mirror with blood but they're useful messages. Like "remember you have yoga at 6 tonight"
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@OtherDanOBrien: *hot girl puts a cherry stem in her mouth* *twists it around with her tongue* *pulls it out* *it spells "I LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND"*
@radtoria: Fastening a pendant around my son's neck before dying for him, "Keep this always. The audience won't recognize you as an adult without it"
@PrincessAlexx_: Sending 17 text messages explaining why you're not crazy seems a little counterintuitive.
@hipchkk: I keep an extra stash of tampons in my purse to launch at blowhards who punctuate the end of their sentence with the word, "Period!"