@meladoodle: A demon that writes messages on your mirror with blood but they're useful messages. Like "remember you have yoga at 6 tonight"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@just1fool: "Do you wanna build a snowman?" "Sir, this is a Build a Bear shop." *Pulls out carrot "Oh, you brought a carrot. Sure, whatever."
@gf3: me: i'm here for stabbing lessons clerk: sir this is a fencing clu— me: yeah whatever hand me a knife clerk: … me: dress me like a beekeeper
@theshamingofjay: [interview for doctor's office receptionist] "Can you schedule appointments and be friendly" Yes. "Sorry we're looking for the opposite"
@hpb777: Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.