@Beatonm5: ...a dentist on a toothpaste commercial with stethoscope around neck..., if my dentist started to listen to my heart I would freak out.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SortaBad: Tip for teens: If you're buying booze with a fake ID, the easiest way to seem legitimately older is to wear a wedding ring
@iLikeCatShirts: *throws a rock at a bird* Me [writing in "science" journal]: birds don't like rocks.
@DontTouchMyWine: I’m the kind of girl who won’t stop until you’re screaming your safeword. Related: Your safeword’s the first 16 digits of your credit card.