@omgthatspunny: A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
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@Im_Tricia: I wish there was a way to tell if this guy is being nice to me because he likes me or if it's just because he's Canadian.
@notbedelia: 911: what's your emergency? M: I'm out of ketchup. 911: miss I don't think u get how 911 works. M: I DONT THINK U GET HOW HOT DOGS WORK
@IamEveryDayPpl: My walk of shame is spending 10 minutes trying to pronounce something at a Mexican restaurant before giving up and ordering tacos.