@phxguy88: A Facebook friend posted 8 pictures of himself fixing a lawnmower, so I drove over and shot him. It just felt like the right thing to do.
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@MarlonBrandNO: Me: I have Schrödinger like reflexes "Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?" Me: Yes and No.
@TheBossyBlonde: If you have never had a friend that you haven't contemplated leaving at a gas station forever I applaud you.
@AndyAsAdjective: Girl, did you take a massage therapy course at a community college with questionable credentials? Because you're rubbing me the wrong way.