@Kyle_Lippert: A female contestant is on Wheel of Fortune. "Give me a D" she says. "She wants the D" Pat Sajak says & then high fives the camera man.
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@thr33circles: Quitting twitter is the adult version of running away from home. We ALL know you're doing it for attention and we ALL know you'll be back.
@noog: Me: I wish Inigo Montoya appeared everytime “literally” is misused and did his “You keep saying that word“ bit Genie: That ones on the house
@jergarl: [on phone with debit fraud] Bank guy: Sir do you shop on line at all Me: DUDE IT'S 2017 WE BUY TOILET PAPER ONLINE BG: M: Sometimes. Yes