@Kyle_Lippert: A female contestant is on Wheel of Fortune. "Give me a D" she says. "She wants the D" Pat Sajak says & then high fives the camera man.
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@KevinFarzad: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case 17 people break in and wanna play baseball
@bacon_gillepic: Puts cardboard cutout of myself at my desk a week ago* Receives check* Dang I just got a raise
@SteveKoehler22: Google, Microsoft and Disney are among suitors for Twitter Will it be Twoogle ? Twindows ? The Wonderful World of Tweets ? Be prepared
@Book_Krazy: Him: What? You said I could tie you up and do anything I want. Me: WELL WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? Him: Fishing